JoBeth! By BJ Hiorns and Joey Hetzel

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JoBeth!
By BJ Hiorns and Joey Hetzel
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JoBethThe Common JoBeth

(estupido dimwitticus)

Whip out your field guides and look her up!

The common JoBeth (estupido dimwitticus) is a good-natured creature that seems to thrive on human contact. Surprisingly resilient, the JoBeth can be easily identified by her mating call: "So like, was that my sixth Zima 'r what? It's totally cool you'll drive me home!"

RANGE: Upper Midwestern shopping malls.
HABITAT: Bath & Body Works, the Gap, Victoria's Secret
DIET: Herbivorous; diet consists of salads, french fries and diet soda.
MATING: Anything of equal or lesser intelligence with three legs, biceps and a Suzuki Katana. A pretty red one.

BEHAVIORAL PATTERNS:

Clothing:

Tommy Hilfiger, Columbia sport wear, Doc Martens

Music:

Dave Matthews Band, Goo Goo Dolls, City of Angels

Creative outlets:

Dawson's Creek, Friends, her hair

Cultural idols:

Winnie the Pooh, VH-1 Divas

DEVIATIONS FROM NORMAL BEHAVIOR: Ask her friends. Watch MTV for updates.

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JoBeth is © 1998-2000 B.J. Hiorns and Joey Hetzel. All rights reserved. Any reproduction of this material without written permission by the creators is strictly prohibited.

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